Category: Parenting

Know developmental norms. Children between the ages of four and 11 are naturally curious about their bodies, their identity, and who they were made to be. Curiosities and comments about physical anatomy, and normal development, are common and should be welcomed as our children grow to understand their world. Sometimes, adults will attach a sexualized…

Giving choices often feels impossible when we expect to do this in real time in conjunction with our child’s behavior. It often seems that our opportunities to give choices often come when either we, our child, or both of us are hungry, tired, or already frustrated. To think of reasonable choices for our child is…

When we feel out of control as we parent our child, it is often tempting to set limits on everything they do. Limit-setting has a framework. It is helpful to have a framework as to when a limit is actually needed. Since we know, children are not robots or going to “act perfectly “all the…

“What do I do when I give my child two choices, and they comply with the limit I set,  but choose their own third option?” Choice giving can get sticky. It’s hard enough to formulate real choices in real time when your child is really upset.  We get flustered and pressured in the moment too. …

Often parents take on the role of behavioral manager for their child. They come to believe that the child’s behavior can and should be controlled by the parent themselves. The child whines, and the parent gets them what they want. The child complains they are bored, and the parent thinks up what they should do.…

“I still feel so much hurt over the disrespect my child has shown me,  that I do not want to show them love until they deserve it.“ Being a parent can be so hard. Actually, it is hard most of the time. We can literally feel like punching bags as our children disobey, disrespect, openly…

It can be helpful as a parent to step back and consider the “why” behind a child’s misbehavior. Just like adults do any number of things to accomplish a goal, children often do this through all of their behavior. It is the “mis”-behavior that we often label as problematic and focus our attention on as…

As humans we are so easily drawn to what is not working. We spot the problems, and over look the things that are going right. We want to fix whatever seems broken. As parents this effort usually gets diverted onto our children. We take responsibility to teach them what is right. We want them to…

Most parents parent the way they were parented. We don’t get an owner’s manual when our first little one comes along, and so we often rely on the hard-wired information about how to parent from being parented ourselves. The good news is that parenting skills are just that…skills. No one is born a great parent.…

Since we’ve all been parented one way or another, it’s important to consider different styles in which parenting comes out. Do all the styles have equally effective outcomes? Does it really matter which style someone chooses? Once we distinguish three common styles, you will be able to answer those questions for yourself. Giving Orders This…